Fabulous five focus factors

Magical Moment

Without real planning, I ended up realizing all five focus factors today. The ease with which they played out was precipitated by the work that I have been doing to take action.

I ran 3 miles outside before picking up cleaning for my mom and then watching my son’s soccer game, after which I had a date with my husband and son. We ice skated outside in the city, enjoyed a lovely dinner out (partaking in restaurant week), browsed and bought at Borders (using a discount coupon and borders bucks), and then I used my birthday coupon at Ann Taylor to get a lovely cashmere sweater for $44.88.

The absolute monumental moment was when my son and I were on the ice. I had to hold him pretty tightly because it was only his second time on skates. He asked me, “is this fun for you?” I easily responded that it was tons of fun for me because I was spending time with my son while he was learning something new. He smiled, and hugged me. That was it!!! I am grateful that I was able to be in such a good place that I was able to lavish in this luxury that cost all of $8.00 (for the skate rental because my son’s Feinstein Junior Scholar Club card covered the rink time).

Today's treats were chosen luxuries in that I had lots of work, chores, and errands to do (which of course I fit in earlier and will again turn my attention to later).  Instead of laboring with those all day, however, I took time to reward myself.   

What wonderful wanderings….

Walnuts | The 30 Healthiest Foods | Real Simple

This will be a fun exercise for the food factor. During February, I will make sure I have all of these items in my pantry. I then will include at least one item in each day's selections. I have a few days to make the list and purchase the items....

Walnuts The 30 Healthiest Foods Real Simple

Chosen luxuries



chosen luxuries

 Miscellaneous mind murmurs regarding my mantra include: making choices is personal; I am exerting control and power over my existence; the precious time that is my own must be filled with luxuries; a luxury can cost little or no money; and I deserve luxury.

My mantra can’t have any negative connotation or aspect of deprivation or cutting back. That’s not to say that I don’t deprive myself and cut back everyday. Such often are the results of my choices. However, when deprivation and cutting back are the results of my choice, then I can accept them.

Making choices about luxuries necessarily includes prioritizing. I often make choices about luxuries based on my priorities. For example, last year, I chose a luxury vacation over a new car because my priority was to focus on getting away to relax and enjoy family fun. That choice proved to be one of the best ones that I made in 2010. Everyone enjoyed our time at The Balsams, from which we took so many memories, and my 2003 Jeep Liberty that has over 225,000 miles still is running just fine.

This picture displays a few of my favorite current luxury choices, specifically:

A new Starbucks mug
The New York Times Sunday edition,
     with first focus on the Book Review section
My iPod touch
My Amazon Kindle

These items are the epitome of my mantra. I have chosen these luxuries with thoughtful care and enjoy them daily!

My Mantra -- Choose Luxury

One of the many benefits of remaking is deciding how adjustments to life’s changes will unfold. Remaking for me typically requires a mantra. Currently, I am developing the following mantra,

choose luxury.

Development of this mantra raises thoughts of past mantras. They certainly reflect where I am in my life.

Right now, choices are such a huge part of my life. I have to make so many choices, and I am trying to teach my son to make good choices. Also, I feel strongly that I need to pursue what works for me. Making choices is paramount to this personal pursuit.

The word luxury is proving to be a critical part of my mantra because it evokes a positive mental state, which is critical. I need luxuries in my life. The definition of luxury supports my decision to use this word in my mantra. Included in the Merriam-Webster definition is, “something adding to pleasure or comfort but not absolutely necessary” and “an indulgence in something that provides pleasure, satisfaction, or ease.”

I am having buckets of fun developing my mantra!

Mind Murmur - notable quote

I subscribe to the Runner's World quote of the day, which appears daily in my email inbox. I look forward to this email and often end up printing the quotes for continued inspiration. Today's quote totally resonates with me:

It's the one thing that's mine. My runs everyday are my thing. It's my therapy, my hour to myself. Nobody can really take it away from me... It's such a huge part of me. I love to say that I'm a runner.

Summer Sanders, Olympic gold-medalist in swimming

Mind Murmur - parenting position

You only can do what works for you, and that applies to parenting as well as to pretty much anything with which you are tasked. I spend what often is too much time trying to figure out was works for me as my parenting position.

This week, I am contemplating two books in the context of my parenting position. I admit that I have not read either of these books, though I have added them both to my way too long reading list.

The first book is, Start-Up Nation: The Story of Israel’s Economic Miracle. I listened, in podcast form, to an interview Faith Middleton conducted with co-author Dan Senor. I found this to be extremely intriguing, particularly in light of just having finished listening to The Intelligent Entrepreneur.

The second book is, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. I do not intend to purchase this book out of principle, but perhaps I will borrow it from the library. In the meantime, I am enjoying my current exposure to it through Internet print and podcast listening, including one in which Amy Chua read an excerpt from her book. Today, my dog walk included listening to a podcast from The New Yorker during which this book was discussed in light of the parenting issues now being widely discussed. It makes me wonder what my parenting style is. I would not define myself as falling within the characteristics of either a Chinese or Western mother.

I strive to apply characteristics of those styles to my attempt at raising what one day will be an intelligent, confident, and successful man.

Weekly Wanderings - week 3

This week was productive, and for that I am truly grateful. I fit in each of the five factors and am realizing that they are quite intertwined for me. Their overlapping makes it easier for me to fit them in, work them well, and move forward with an awesome attitude.

I am learning (for probably the tenth time) to live in the moment, focusing on what then is happening (rather than on the so many other things that I often feel I should be doing). Such focus included fitting in the five factors with success, and as follows:

Fit – I worked out 3 times. Though I wish I had fit in one more workout, I am comforted by the fact that the 3 I had were high quality, with no junk miles or wasted weights. My 2 runs were different (one outside and one at the gym), but each had such value! In addition to those workouts, my dog and I had many walks that provided pure pleasure. Our Sunday morning walk by the reservoir was so beautiful; the trees were coated in ice and the bright sun made them glisten! Thankfully, I was able to truly appreciate this sight.

Family – I began and ended the week with Mummy. I enjoyed my time with her and my son. Generally, our time together can be challenging. Right now, I know that because I am in a good place personally, I am able to be present for these two important people in my life, the 90 year-old and the 7 year-old. On Saturday, I joined 3 sisters and 2 sisters-in-law for a spa and lunch outing in celebration of my third sister’s 60th birthday. This outing was fun and fulfilling on so many levels. Having left my husband and son behind for much of the day, I focused on them for the remainder of the day. Everyone got a bit of what they wanted, and, therefore, the day overall was a success! Dinner ended up being pizza that we brought in so that we would have time to make cookies. So many things include giving and taking, and finding a balance that works.

Fun -- The realization that fun does not have to mean what it did in the past is huge. I am finding I have fun in ways that I did not previously define as fun events/activities. During this week, I had tons of fun with my son after supper when we sat together and worked on activity pages from workbooks that I have been moving from one location to another for too long. Being productive in my work and home organizing has brought pleasure to me so I am thinking that such productivity is fun for me. In the end, remaking what fun means to me and looks like for me is proving to be invaluable.

Finance - My stocks are holding their own. I completed 2 months of ownership with an overall 8.5% gain. That is encouraging. Presently, as the dust still settles from year-end expenditures, I am trying simply not to spend money, which actually is going well.

Food – Dinnertime was relaxing and enjoyable, which made it fun for me. My son ate quite well without complaints. Generally, the menu was basic. On Friday (knowing that I was going to be gone most of the next day) I made a fancier dinner than usual. We ate our steak and shrimp leisurely, while the candles burned and Zac Brown Band played in the background.

Because this week was busy, and I wasn’t able to work within the schedule that I had set, I ended up making some poor snack selections. I will learn from that, taking more time this week to make smarter snack selections.

The Faith Middleton Show | Connecticut Public Broadcasting Network

This radio show has been one of my favorites lately. I just subscribed to the podcast through iTunes. This is exciting because I miss listening everyday at air time. Here's the link:

The Faith Middleton Show | Connecticut Public Broadcasting Network

Mind Murmur - focus factor frenzy

Today, through the America’s Test Kitchen page on Facebook, I entered to win a cookbook from America’s Test Kitchen, currently a favorite of mine. What I wrote, which I now have edited a bit, is encouraging because it displays how my five focus factors are interrelated, which will make fulfilling them more realistic.

My entry began with an indication that food is one of my five focus factors for 2011. I then wrote something similar to,

I am always looking for ways to keep food fun for my family while helping me to get more fit with minimal negative impact on my finances.

Daily dose of doing

Putting my doing mode into action was absolutely awesome. Generally, I decided that I needed to get back to basics.

I fit me in for a favorite activity – running outside. Typically, once I am out on the road I get lost in myself. This time I ended up running a fabulous five miles. I wasn’t fast, but that doesn’t matter, which is just one benefit of running for pleasure rather than for training. My iPod accompanied me with a selection of fun and motivating songs. My thoughts easily fit in and flowed, practically propelling me along one of my routine routes that has been calling me of late.

My run gave me energy and strength, which I ended up needing to deal with my husband, who had a difficult day. Several issues arose for him that I think were more of a big deal based on his work status. I feel that we calmly got through the day, or at least I did anyway. For that, I am grateful.

I productively proceeded through my work day, plugging along through so many open items and getting things done!

The food factor fit in nicely, with a pork loin dinner. My Son ate quite a bit, which always makes me feel successful! The pork was easily seasoned with McCormick’s pork rub spice mix. This was not extravagant, but was a yummy manageable meal that made family time fabulous.

My stocks took a beating today, so the finance factor was not as much of a high as other factors. However, I didn’t spend any money, so I will take that as a positive in the finance factor column.

I have a bit more work before I’m done for the day, but presently I will focus on the fun factor, watching Top Chef and flipping through some apps on my iPod Touch. Also, I have to fit in my requisite few minutes with my new toy, my Kindle. How fun is it that Anthony Bourdain is on Top Chef and on my Kindle with Kitchen Confidential?

Mind Murmur

Accepting my decision to settle into doing mode is more simple with the following words of Henry W. Longfellow:

Let us, then, be up and doing
with a heart for any fate;
still achieving, still pursuing,
learn to labor and to wait.

Weekly Wanderings - week 2

During this past week I worked all five focus factors with varied success. As is typical, I had a great plan, but life got in the way. I have been living the expression, life is what happens when you’re making other plans. Anyway, all in all I would say that the week went well, and included:

Fun – we played in the snow!

Fit – I worked out 3 times. Sunday’s run on the treadmill at the gym was much better than expected, and a fine lesson in feeling better after fitting me in.

Finance – nothing new here, just way too busy with my job, the source of revenue.

Food – family meal time worked well, and the weekend included new dishes of turkey and meatballs (I am trying to make meatballs as good as Subway’s, currently my Son’s favorite).

Family – I met 3 sisters and 1 sister-in-law for dinner to celebrate the latter’s birthday. This family time reminded me of the foundation that my family provides. Currently, I am busy focusing on what needs to be done to get through the days and weeks, sometimes in a vacuum. Being with family helps me to put things in perspective as to how far I have come. I was reminded that my family is a great source of strength. Family time also included an overnight with my Son at my Mom’s house. This time was quite special. Though my Mom’s and my roles often are reversed, saying goodnight at bedtime reminded me that I am her daughter, the baby of her 8 children.

Finally on the family front (and well within the fun factor), I have set up a space to resume my letter project. Nuance’s Dragon Naturally Speaking is an invaluable part of this project! It is so simple! The letter I transcribed on Sunday is dated January 31, 1944 (20 years to the day before I was born). My serviceman Dad was updating my Mom from “somewhere in Italy.” I even developed at least a working title for this book project. For now, it will be, DIM Memories, letters that shaped a family. As part of this project, I also purchased from Amazon and started to read, Daniel Patrick Moynihan, A Portrait in Letters of an American Visionary, Edited by Steven R. Weisman.

My thoughts are running wild, and I have so much to write. However, there's also so much to do. At times, I am better at doing than at thinking and writing. Now may be one of those times. I need to embrace that feeling and run with it (literally and figuratively). Doing results in my being productive, which provides me with pure pleasure!

cards / what fun!

Classic Navy 5x7 folded card

Modern greeting cards and party invitations by Shutterfly.

View the entire collection of cards.

Blog2print / SharedBook -- Working the plan

Journals have been a big part of my life. When I started this blog, it almost exclusively took the place of my journal. I thought about making my blog into a journal; it was on my list. With 2010 over, that action item made its way up the list. Little did I know that I would cross that item off the list in such a short time with little stress.

After minimal investigation, I found Blog2print / SharedBook. After inserting a bit of information, I ordered a paper copy of my 2010 posts. Today, after hardly any time, my journal arrived. I love it! It's beautiful, and makes my musings magical. While I wish this book were bigger, I am glad to have it at all. It's a small step toward what I know will be much more....

Weekly Wanderings - Week 1

The first full week of 2011 was a success! I worked hard, played hard, and moved forward with my plan. I fit in workouts 4 times, which was great. Only 1 run was outside, but it was better than none. The other 3 workouts were at the gym. They varied in their duration and intensity, but part of this month's plan is simply scheduling. Devoting 1 hour to workouts, whatever they might be, is the goal. Once the time is in place, then the details will follow.

The five focus factors' details are being developed. I am pleased that the factors overlap and compliment each other because that will make executing them easier.

I am fitting me in because I am worth it!

The 10 Rules

The 10 Rules

Just completed The Intelligent Entrepreneur by Bill Murphy, Jr. in audiobook form from Audible.com

This book is interesting, informative, and inspiring, leaving me with so much to think about.

Fun Focus

Figuring out how to fulfill the fun factor is daunting, mostly because I am not sure what fun means to/for me. I always thought that fun was partying, and going out with others. As I am not doing much of that lately, I thought that I must not be having much fun. However, I am realizing that what is fun for me now is different from what was fun for me before.

Fun has been included in the factors on which to focus because I associate laughter with fun, and I do know the importance of laughter in a healthy and complete life. Also, I tend to be much too serious, uptight, and demanding of myself and others. I need to lighten up, and will do so if I focus on making and taking time to have fun.

Parts of Webster’s definition of fun are: providing entertainment, amusement, or enjoyment; to indulge in banter or play; a mood for finding or making enjoyment; and action or speech that provides amusement or enjoyment.

I so enjoy learning, so it will be included in my fun factor. I derive huge pleasure from spending time with my son, and I am thoroughly amused by his antics, so this time too will be included in my fun. Actually, I must say that I enjoy running. Wow, it too then can fall within the fun factor! Yes, another benefit of running!

For the next little while, perhaps thorough the end of this month, I will keep better track of times that I enjoy as a basis for moving forward with the fun factor.

Facile Fragments

Implementing even a small step makes a positive difference! I think it is generally accepted that drinking 64 ounces of water each day is beneficial. Okay, then why is it so difficult to accomplish this otherwise apparently easy task? My success is too sporadic.

My current approach involves turning hot herb tea into iced tea. I put it into a lovely pitcher that brings me pleasure. Then, I chill it through the morning, when I am enjoying my Starbucks fix. At lunch, I bring the pitcher and a large glass filled with ice to my desk. For the next however long it takes, I enjoy the flavorful tea!

This approach has easily facilitated the success of a fragment falling within the food and fit factors. For example, I end up eating less and feeling hydrated!

Fit Focus

I chose the word fit for various reasons. I want to be more fit physically, and I need to fit me in for that to happen.

It is realistic to think about being fit, rather than about losing a certain number of pounds. For almost every year for as long as I can remember, losing weight has been a resolution of mine. Currently, thinking specifically about a number of pounds that I need to shed would almost certainly be setting me up for failure.

Aiming to exercise and eat healthfully, which will result in fitness, are better focuses for me. Also, following a particular diet will not work for me. As someone who successfully (30 pounds in 3 months) and unsuccessfully (virtually no pounds in about 2 months) followed Weight Watchers, I know what success would involve and I am not willing to do it right now.

For now, eating well is workable. Regular exercise is workable. It will produce fitness, and it provides physical and mental benefits. I also enjoy it. In fact, for me, it overlaps with the fun factor about which more will be written another day.

Running still is the best thing that I do for myself. I have been going to the gym also, but I prefer running outside. I did it today, and the 4+ miles were awesome!

My goal is to fit in a flexible schedule. Currently, I am fitting in exercise about 3 times each week. I would love to increase it to 4 or 5, but.... I have been running, weight training, and even walking on the treadmill with a significant incline. The varied routine currently is realistic and fits with my thought that anything is better than nothing. Making the time to exercise at all is more important than the exact details of the exercise.

Right now, fitting in my fit focus is sufficient.

The Amazon Answer

To properly pursue my focus factors, I need to efficiently use the 24 hours provided to me each day. How do I accomplish that a bit better? The answer is simple, Amazon.

I do not enjoy shopping, but I do enjoy having things. Typically, I know what I want and I don't want to wait and/or search for it. I often have fantasized about having a personal shopper. For now, Amazon will do. The Amazon awesomeness revealed itself to me several times just this week. I had to return something from Christmas. That was done so simply!!! Also, to complete a collection of frames, I needed a particular one. The color, size, and material had to match the collection. After just a few clicks, the order was placed. Then, a few days later, the frame arrived. Now the project is done with little stress and big satisfaction!

Amazon also fuels my need for knowledge and entertainment. This week's fuel is provided by my new Kindle and my new membership to Audible.com. Through a Kindle book, knowledge flows in at night to help relax after a busy day. During a workout at the gym or a walk with the dog, I am entertained by listening to the NYTimes or a book that I know I will not have time to actually read.

Family Focus

On any given day, this focus factor differs in its scope, from my boys at home, to Mummy, and then to my siblings and beyond. I am grateful that the scope differs because the intensity of this factor can be overwhelming. For now, I appreciate that my family is invaluable.

Within the family focus is my desire to transcribe the many letters that my Dad wrote to my Mom during the 1940s, primarily when he was overseas in the Service for 2 years before their more than 50 year marriage began in August, 1944. I have read many of these letters, and have transcribed some. I want to spend more time on this project, which provides layers to the family foundation and historic perspective. For example, I loved reading a letter that talks about Jack Benny's performance and then finding the photograph my Dad took of that performance.

This project actually falls within both the family focus and the fun focus factors based on the huge pleasure this project provides. After all, within the Marriam-Webster definition of fun is, "what derives amusement or enjoyment." I want to make a plan for moving forward with this project. I need to fit it in! I will, with even small steps.

Finance Focus

Small steps matter, and sometimes you simply have to start. While I always have been money conscious, often to a fault, I never have been too adventurous about, and with my, money.

Five weeks ago, 10 weeks before turning 47, I purchased stock for the first time. I do have a 401K and a rollover IRA, but I am not very involved in them. I have wanted to be more proactive. Also, I get sick over thinking that checking and savings accounts are not places to store money. Finally, buying stock would be another way to teach my Son about money. He regularly checks the Stocks App on our iPod Touch.

Traditionally, I don't act without gathering what I consider to be sufficient information. However, as with so much these days, information is too abundant. Often, I end up taking no action at all.

Knowing that I had to move from my stock paralysis, I used a bit of money and bought a number of different stocks. I am learning a ton and having a blast! I also have great satisfaction in knowing that as of today, I am realizing a 7% return.

Food Focus

Periodically, I ponder my food preparation resources. Currently, I have decided that they, and sources of food inspiration, simply are too abundant!

At times, I get caught up searching for, and organizing, recipes. I have more food apps on my iPod touch than I ever could use effectively. My recipe books are close at hand for quick reference, and I have several sorting systems (binders and index card boxes) in place for the odd recipes that catch my attention in newspapers, magazines, and on the Internet. These provide such comfort to me. However, I realize over and over again that any system I have set up is only as good as my ability to use it. Also, I am drawn back to the idea that I have to simply use what works for me.

This and last night are good examples of using what works and minimizing the number of resources. Two new resources for me are McCormick and about.com. Last night, I made an easy turkey meatloaf according to a McCormick package. Tonight, I used an about.com recipe that lives up to its promise of being an easy chicken parmesan.

More complex dishes end up being prepared less frequently, particularly because I have a full time job and the palate of my regular audience leaves a lot to be desired.

The prominence of running

I enjoy being reminded that my running matters and is worth it. Today, while listening to my audiobook, I was struck by references to a successful businessman who runs. Mark Bittman has been part of my food focus. I love his approach to food and cooking! He runs. Joe Bastianich, another name that has crept into my food focus, runs. These busy and successful people find the time to run. As I am less busy and less successful, I certainly can find time to run.

test email post

trying to get organized after a busy week, and in anticipation of my year of yearning.

fulfilling five focus factors

fit - ran 4.5 miles
family - spent time with Mum
fun - played Wii with my son
food - browsed The Essential New York Times Cook Book I recently received from Amazon
finance - downloaded The Intelligent Entrepreneur to my new Audible.com account

New Year's Day -- five focus factors

I am excited about this new year! Rather than resolutions, I will instead focus on five factors -- fun, fit, family, finance, and food. If each of these receive sufficient focus, any resolution I could imagine will be realized.

This focus necessarily requires fitting me in. It's not about me only, but it must include me. Including me encompasses fitting in my needs and wants. If they are even taken into consideration, then I will be a better woman, mom, wife, daughter, sister, employee, just a few of the hats I wear.

If each day could include my five focus factors, then it will be a delightful day.