Back to basics....

My many remakings are remarkable in their own way. Each, to varying degrees, includes body, mind, and spirit. Each requires being proactive, rather than reactive.

Running always provides the necessary rubric. Running enables me to: regroup; renew; rework; reorganize; remember; and reenergize.

Running is not static; it requires constant movement. So too do I. Running is my restorative.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Time passes ....

Six months ago this morning, my Mom left her senior living community to transition to long-term care.  The events leading up to that day were some of the most difficult ones with which I have had to deal.

That day was very surreal.  We didn't actually tell my Mom she was moving because it was easier to leave the details vague.  My mom has a dementia diagnosis, though she is rather cognizant.  We entered this phase not knowing if it in fact would be permanent.  We told my Mom that this was something else that we were going to try to see if she could get stronger after a recent fall left her needing 24-hour care.

My Mom's transition to log-term care, okay, to a nursing home (yes, I said it), has been remarkably smooth, and for that I am grateful.  She has settled in quite nicely.  She is well cared for and safe.  I am able to visit, end enjoy quality time, with her, which were increasingly less frequent when she was living independently.

More often than not, I indicate generally that my Mom has transitioned to long-term care.  This approach results in less comments and criticism than when I say that my Mom is in a nursing home.

Caring for my 94 year-old Mom has been a challenge, particularly while:  maintaining full-time professional employment; raising a gregarious 10 year-old; nurturing my marriage; and trying to stay healthy and fit while my 50 year-old body wants only to expand.

We often hear about eldercare issues, but not always in a positive way.  I think that should change.  Everyone's situation is different.  Individuals' situations change over time.  We need to be open to possibilities.  There should be more supporting, and less judging.

I never thought my Mom would live in a nursing home.  Quite frankly, I also never thought she would be alive at 94 years old, though I also never envisioned her death.  Did I think she was going to live forever and never age?  No.  I guess I simply never thought too much about my Mom's mortality.  But, like with so many other things I have been forced to think about, I am managing.

Monday, October 6, 2014

The power of memories

Twenty-four years ago today I married what I thought was my life-long partner.  About eighteen years ago today, my divorce from that pattern was final.  My feelings about those milestones change but always are strong, for better or worse.

Today, I sit contently working.  My contentment exists in part because of what I have experienced throughout my 50 years.  I need to remember those experiences, many of which were ordeals.  They contributed to who I am today, a strong and resilient woman who succeeds every day.

I began today with a walk outside, and only time will tell how this day ends.  Though it will not end as it did 24 years ago, this day will be just as important for very different but equally significant reasons.  I will complete my work day, enjoy a meal with my family, and nurture my Son before his bedtime.

Tonight will be full of love, as was this night so many years ago.  It's a different kind of love, but it's love and, after all, love is what matters.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Day 6 - a bunch of successful days

will produce overall success.  I know what I want overall, and I will get there one day at a time.  If each day is successful, then how can I not get there?  Today, I didn't run but I did a bit of yoga and P90X, which were fun.  I am feeling good, and that matters.

Monday, September 22, 2014

Day 2 - better when I nurture

9/21 - day 2:   I am better when I nurture myself and others.  I nurtured myself with a few minutes of alone time, a run, and some healthy eating.  I nurtured others by enjoying a walk with a friend, preparing a family dinner, and setting aside time to play cards with my Son.

I missed my Sunday visit with my Mom, but it's okay.  I changed my schedule to be able to see my Sister, knowing that flexibility is necessary.

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Day 1 lessons

We each can do what we want separately and together.  I can rely on my instincts and my support system.  Take a breath and a moment to appreciate....

Saturday, September 20, 2014

40 day remaking

starts today.  I have been doing bits and pieces of different things that have brought me to this day.  I am feeling good and ready for what is next.  This is a perfect time for the next formal remaking.  My remakings often end with a race.  This one won't, but that's okay.  It will end on October 29th - why not?

Friday, September 19, 2014

Welcoming a new day

I am starting some days with even the shortest of walks and I am so much better for it.  I listen to a podcast and I look around me.  The fresh air and natural setting somehow ground me and better prepare me for what have been hectic and diverse days.